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Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Just the other night, I was hanging out at the bar with my friend Rachel and a few other people when the subject of attracting weirdoes came up.

We all agreed that, for whatever reason, we all seem to attract the strange ones. Or as Rachel put it, "They always come up and want to talk to me."

When I pointed out that I've had my share of random conversations started by odd strangers, she replied, "Yeah, but do they also hit on you?"

I had to admit that – No! - I couldn't recall that ever happening. Mostly they just wanted to talk about all manner of high weirdness.

But, you see, God has a sick sense of humor.

The very next morning I was walking down to the convenience store when I was approached by this guy wearing a pink shirt and tight black pants.

"Do you have a cigarette?" he asked.

I told him I didn't and, in fact, I was headed to the store to buy some.

We parted ways, but a moment later he called me back and asked where I got my hair cut because he was a hairdresser so if I was looking for somebody, well...

...and he handed me his business card. Then he extended his hand, we shook, and he was off and running with some kind of slick Q &A...

"Sometimes I'll cut hair at my house so I can make a little money on the side. What's your name? What do you do for a living? Do you like the neighborhood around here? What are you plans for today? How about that weather we've been having?"

And on and on and on. All of which ended with him saying...

"I'm just going to get something to eat. If you're not busy we can meet down at the store in a little bit. I only live a few blocks away. I can show you my place if you'd like."

All of a sudden I didn't think it was about giving me a haircut anymore.

I felt so dirty and uncut.

So I made up an excuse, telling him I already had plans with my redneck friends that mostly involved riding around in a pickup truck looking for random homosexuals to beat up, and made a quick getaway.

On my way home, I recalled the conversation I had with Rachel the night before and realized I had just gotten a little taste of what she must experience on a regular basis.

Then I thought to myself...

God, sometimes it must really suck to be her. She's just minding her own business and then having to deal with intrusions like that.

So I plan on telling her about this epiphany I've had the very next time I'm hitting on her.


posted by Pete 11:06 AM
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