RATE THIS BLOG - click hereBlogarama

Site Meter
The World According to Pete

Subscribe in NewsGator Online blog archives

Recommended Weblogs of Equal or Lesser Value
davezilla
Heart Failure
How Not To Fly
Ludic Log
Mirth&Musings
Monkey Cage
PeteAccordingToMe
Porn Clerk Girl
Random Acts of Reality
Stacey Nightmare

Good-N-Plenty Sites of Interest
Bob from Accounting
Bushisms
Church Sign Generator
Jim Goad
Modern Drunkard
Rant of the Week
Retro Future
'Salon Apocalypse'
Slash & Burn

BLOGOSPHERE News & Reviews

BlogCritics

Alpha Bloggers
Blogging as Journalism
Starting a Blog
You've Got Blog

31 Flavors of Blog
Weblog Review

Confessions of an Internet Junkie!
My 'Generic Blog'

Pete Media
Pete Vs. the Virgin Mary ('89), then...
...'New Times' calls Pete a 'creep'('97)
Yucca Video/TV Clip
Pete out-predicts Psychics ('99)
Pete's research quoted in 'Earth Changes' book ('01)
Art For Pete's Sake ('03)
MEDIA PETROS

Cool Comix, Fun Flix & Groovy Tunes
Day by Day
Red Meat
Way Lay

I, Doll
Rainbow TV

Resonance Radio
Strangely Familiar

Damn Fine Art
Sarina Brewer
Joe Coleman
David Ho
Jenny Ignaszewski
ManWoman
Mark Mothersbaugh
Pete Petrisko
Mark Ryden
Isabel Samaras
Shag
Chris Winkler
Joel-Peter Witkin

Web Cam Fun!
Bubble Cam
Continental Drift Cam
Deformed Frog Cam
JFK Assassin Cam
Peeling Paint Cam

contact...
Email Pete about the world. He might reply. All work herein (c) 2002-2004 by Peter Petrisko

This page is powered by Blogger.

Saturday, October 08, 2005
[[ IN CASE OF MY DISAPPEARANCE ]]

The case of missing Virginia Commonwealth University student Taylor Behl was solved, in large part, due to
her online activities. According to police, the Internet “has emerged as a virtual tip machine that often maps the course of an investigation.”

For better or worse, investigators now use Googling and comb through public weblogs to gather information on both suspects and crime victims. Behl, whose remains were found a month after her disappearance, had a blog on livejournal and an account on myspace.com. In fact, the alleged killer was among her 92 myspace “friends”.

In case of my own untimely disappearance, I leave the following clues. It is a mix of truth, half-truths, and bold-faced lies. Any police investigator worth his salt should be able to suss out fact from fiction and solve the case of my disappearance - or at least find my decomposing body…

A girlfriend of mine wasn’t too pleased with the world according to Pete – at least
according to her. So she dumped me, quit her job, and ran off with an ex-convict. They were just like Bonnie and Clyde and we all know how that one turned out. Luckily her car broke down. That’s what we call “delaying the inevitable.” Now that I’ve mentioned all of this, she might one day be a lead. But I doubt it because, obviously, she’s willing to settle.

I once killed a giraffe with my bare hands. Before you judge me, I think you should know he was pretty much asking for it - acting like he owned the whole goddamn savannah, throwing his weight around, putting on airs just because he could eat the highest-most leaves on the tree. Ok, maybe things got a little out of hand, but you know... shit happens... and the next thing you know, you've got a dead mammal on your hands. The rest of the herd witnessed my transgression but stood mutely by as it happened. However, giraffes have long memories. They’re no elephants, but still…

I’ve been seeing a married woman. I hope her husband never ever finds out. That could be bad.

I was recently hanging out at a coffeehouse with some friends when this guy announced, “I haven’t had sex in a year! I need to get laid.” So I asked him, “What, is your hand broken?” He was so pissed off that he refused to shake my hand when I left. Which is probably a good thing, considering.

I am a freak magnet. No matter where I go, the one nut-job nearby will gravitate towards me and start a conversation. I do not encourage this but it still happens. The talk will eventually turn to mind control, CIA operatives, conversations with Jesus, acid flashbacks, or alien abduction - or quite possibly some combination thereof. I also have the bad habit of laughing at the most inappropriate times, like during very serious conversations with nut-jobs. That is a recipe for disaster in my book.

I have way too many compromising photos of former lovers. While I would never share them with anybody, the police don’t know that. Note to investigators – check the hard drive.

I am addicted to caffeine. This will only lead to serious trouble.

I got into an argument with a mime that has Tourettes Syndrome. The argument was rather one-sided. But he kept mouthing obscenities at me and I can read lips so it only escalated from there. Finally I punched him in the face. Amazingly, he didn’t scream. However he did writhe around on the ground and mimed hurts like hell brilliantly.

I’ve received email death-threats in the past because of things I’ve written. I’ve never taken those too seriously and probably never will - at least until somebody makes good on it. It’ll probably be too late at that point, huh?

I was chatting with a female friend of mine the other night while she waited for her date to arrive. She kept going on and on about how wonderful this guy was. So I said, “Didn’t you say that about the last guy you were seeing? How did that turn out?” She replied, “Fuck off” or something to that effect because, after all, he turned out to be an asshole and the break-up was rather messy. She’s one of those quiet-types. We all know about those quiet-types, but not until seeing them on the news after they’ve committed some heinous crime. This worries me.

I think one of my “friends” on myspace may be obsessed with me and could possibly have stalker aspirations. Sadly, it’s not the “friend” I was hoping it would be.

With clues like that it should be a snap to crack the case of my untimely disappearance. It’s nothing a little money and man-power, on the part of the police department, can’t solve.

[]


posted by Pete 3:06 PM
Comments:
you are freakin' hilarious...
i've only found your site today but even if you never write another thing, your archives look promising...
thanks for sharing with the world!
 
you think that's funny ..


theworldaccordingtopeteaccordingtome.blogspot.com
 
Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a accounting school site/blog. It pretty much covers ##KEYWORD## related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)
 
Have you listed your blog in a blog directory?

"mom blog" is what I used to find your blog on google

mom blog
 
Your Blog is Awesome, christian blog is the easiest way to get your blog read by more people.

christian blog has always been my thing
 
Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a **Make Big Money**blog. It pretty much covers Make Big Money articles related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)
 
Who HASNT heard of this Samy dude, what an ego trip that must have been huh? I think he's still liking all of the popularity. I wrote a few things about him on my blog:
http://www.theblahbrain.com/myspace-worm-update.htm

ha, I think Myspace should recode everything.. so far now they have banned .swf [flash files] and the embed tag...basicaly taking videos out of everyones pages as well, I dont think they'll be too happy about that haha banning these things will basically kill myspace... and it's popularity...
 
LOL I found some good stuff here: click right here
 
Hello, you blog is funny and informative. I have a website about improving your adult sex life. Please visit if you want to enjoy sex more in a proper way.
 
Post a Comment



home