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Tuesday, March 08, 2005

A few weeks ago, my girlfriend walked out the door and never came back. That was her way of breaking things off.

She said, "I'm going to the store for cigarettes" then never returned. She didn't say that literally of course. I'm speaking metaphorical here.

Since that time, she refuses to tell me why. No explanation. No closure. No nothing. Well, except for that open wound she left me with – the one that has yet to heal. I guess that's something. At least now I can't say she never gave me anything, huh?

For the sake of closure, I'm going to guess as to why she left...

She has "men" issues. So it wasn't so much anything I did, but the fact I did it with a penis attached.

She got scared and is hiding out.

She was recently diagnosed with an incurable terminal disease and wanted to spare me the suffering of watching her die. One can only hope, right?

When we first met she said she found me to be "so odd" and thought it charming. But charm doesn't last forever and it finally wore off.

The Other Guy she claims doesn't exist. That's the story she's going with – "There is nobody else" – and, in a way, one almost wishes she's lying because that's far less worse to contemplate than knowing she'd just rather be alone than with me.

She once told me it bothered her that I fluctuated between being very passionate and being detached or aloof. Maybe it bothered her more than she expressed. I know when she first told me that I was very very mad but now I don't care. But I'll probably be pissed off about it again tomorrow.

She lived with me for a couple of weeks until her new apartment was ready. Suffice to say I'm not the easiest person to get along with on a 24/7 basis – so that situation rarely turns out well.

She wanted to give her heart to me completely, but didn't believe I felt the same way about her. She would've been wrong, of course, so I chalk it up to some deep-rooted self-esteem issues on her part.

Our lives are very different and, to some extent, we want different things out of life. For example: When I break up with somebody, I want to give that person closure. She doesn't.

She's fucking nuts.

That's all I can figure on that issue, so take your pick. I'm going to study up on that list real hard in the hopes I'll find some semblance of closure.

Until I do, however, I'm going back to bed where you'll find me hiding under the covers. Over the last few weeks its become quite comfy under there. I have a small refrigerator, a TV, a reading lamp, plenty of books, a telephone, an ice cream maker, a kick-ass stereo system, a portable john, George Foreman's Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grilling Machine, a coffee machine... and I'm having an old-fashioned pinball machine delivered next week. I'm set for life and I'll never have to leave my bed again.

But even with all that stuff, it seems like something is missing.

Or, more accurately - - someone.

posted by Pete 3:39 AM
Hi Pete, sorry to hear about your girl friend. Tell us more about her. The good and the bad. What was she like sexually ? Did she enjoy giving oral sex ? Did she swallow ?
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