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Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Some months ago, I started putting my words online, in the hope that, after a year or so, I'd have around 125 pages worth of short pieces that could then be published in book form. However, after only eight months, I found myself with closer to 200 pages, so have been spending time editing it down to a reasonable amount.

This process can get a bit tedious so, to blow off some steam one evening, I decided to write something a little different - Erotic Fiction. Now I've been blessed with the ability to write in almost any style if I read enough of that style. Give me a few westerns and I can pen a rootin' tootin' cowboy tale. Let me read Raymond Chandler and Jim Thompson and I'll give you a gritty piece of 1940s pulp fiction.

However, almost all erotic fiction is either written from the man's point-of-view or is merely a third-person blow by blow account. I wanted more of a challenge. So, using a female pen name, I decided to write a "hot sex story" as experienced, and described, from the woman's point-of-view. Not being a woman myself, obviously, I had to fake it. With that last sentence, there's probably a clever line I could insert here involving "woman" and "faking it" but -- oh god! oh god! oh god! -- I can't think of one at the moment. So let's move on, shall we?

I submitted my finished "hot sex story" to literotica.com and within 24 hours of it appearing on-site I received fifty feedback emails.

Forty-four responses from men, six from women.

So what did the readers conclude about this supposed alleged woman author?

1. They weren't sure if the story was completely fictional or a "true confession" but, citing the specific details I used, a majority thought it was a true story.

2. They found it refreshing to read a story by a woman who was a slut and proud to be one. Yes, my real name is Pete... and I'm a proud slut.

3. Nobody knew what I looked like but, after reading my story, they were sure about one thing - I must be one really really hot-looking chick.

4. Everybody enjoyed masturbating to my story. The male and female readers alike. But here's the difference...

The men's comments were crude and obvious. It's like, hey, buddy - thanks for telling me just how hard you got and how many times in a row you jerked off while reading, but that's probably a little too much information.

In comparison, the women's comments were much more eloquent, something along the lines of, "I read your story and you can guess where MY hand was!"

So what did I learn from this little literary experiment? Mostly I learned first-hand what a lot of women have to put up with every day when it comes to men.

Even women who don't write erotic fiction.

So, on behalf on the male gender, I'd like to say this to the ladies reading now:

I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry. We men are idiots. We're crude and obvious and just don't know any better. Please forgive us, we know not what we do.

Also, thank you - thank you from the bottom of our hearts - for actually having sex with us from time to time and for loving us despite all our faults. Sometimes, we men just don't realize how lucky we are.

We'll try to do better in the future but, since we ARE men, please don't expect too much.

posted by Pete 12:32 AM
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