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Saturday, September 27, 2003
This boy is BACK in blog-town with so many true tales... and so little time. Oh what an interesting life Pete must lead. Ha ha.

This is Part 10 in a continuing series...

[ RANDOM BITS X ]

= What Kids Know =

One afternoon, my friend, Rex, and his 6-year old daughter were walking hand-in-hand down the street.

Soon, two men - also walking hand-in-hand - passed them. The little girl took this in as she and her dad continued along.

A few minutes later, another man walked past them. He was alone.

After the man went by, Rex's daughter looked up at him and said, "Daddy, that man was all by himself. Was he sad because he doesn't have somebody to love him too?"
-

= Mind Your Age =

Last Sunday, I was working with this 20something guy up at a local church. I immediately noticed he had "love" and "hate" tattooed across the fingers of his respective hands. So, of course, I asked him what was up with that.

He explained he had once seen it in a movie and liked the way it looked. It looked "cool". The movie in question was the original "Blues Brothers".

I then asked if he had ever seen "Night of the Hunter." He said no, and wanted to know what that had to do with anything.

(The last paragraph marks the end of the "Obscure Pop Culture Reference" Humor section of this story.)

In any case, he showed up to work - at a church, mind you - wearing a heavy metal t-shirt which read "Zombie" (with appropriately undead face) on the front, and the phrase "Bring Out Your Dead" on the back.

Not exactly church-worthy and, had it been anybody else, I would've thought he was just being a smart ass.

But, as it turns out, he just grabbed the first clean shirt he saw that morning.

To put it all in perspective: He was telling me how he had been tested and it had determined that he had the mental capacity of a 14-year old.

Somebody else pointed out that the test had said he had the mental capacity of a 10-year old, to which he replied, "Yeah... but I took that test FOUR YEARS ago!"

It's something to think about. . . sometimes!
-

= Traveling Light =

I recently moved. During the big move, a friend of mine was helping me when he came across a stack of newspapers.

"Garbage?" he asked of the two feet high, neatly stacked, pile.

"No," I said, "those are all the 'Travel' sections out of the Sunday paper I've collected over the last few years."

He looked completely flummoxed. "What do you need those for?" he said.

"I might want to take a trip some day," I answered.
-

= Fone Fun =

I recently moved. I think that was pretty much established in the last story.

Part of that "moving experience" was getting the new phone turned on. When my business partner (I now live in a combination public art gallery/live-in space)called to get the service, he jotted down the new number.

I didn't copy it down.

So, the day the new phone was turned on, I started calling everybody I knew. I figured somebody I knew had Caller ID and, therefore, would be able to tell me my new phone number.

Not as many people have Caller ID as you might think. For example, I know at least six people who don't.

And one who does.

I guess you learn something new every day. I learned two things that day:

1. Caller ID isn't as popular as the phone company makes it out to be.

2. My new phone number.
-

= Nice Girl About Town =

I met this nice girl one Saturday night. She was in town for only a few days visiting some mutual friends of ours, before having to go back to school in Chicago to finish getting her second Master's degree.

So we stopped off at the local coffee shop to fuel up on caffeinated courage before heading over a bar called the Bikini Lounge, where we closed the place down at 1AM. (This IS Phoenix, where the bars close at 1AM!)

We hung out and made out.

The bad news is... she flew back to Chicago the next day.

The good news is... she's done amateur porn, so, technically, I don't have to go to Chicago to see her. I can just rent the video.
-

= Just Married? =

My mother called me the other night to tell me my younger brother is getting married in April.

Now, my brother is notorious for NEVER calling the family, so when my mom saw his phone number come up on the Caller ID - obviously, being one of the few people WITH Caller ID - she said her first thought was, "Oh crap! What happened?!?"

"Oh crap" indeed. He's getting married, that's what happened.


For the full effect of this nuptial announcement, let me paint you a little picture.

Be warned - the picture isn't pretty.

My three older cousins were all married, in chronological order from oldest to youngest, over the last ten years. So it was more or less expected that *I* would be next.

Apparently, my younger brother has thrown a monkey wrench into THAT plan.

The balance of the universe has now been knocked out of whack by his pre-emptive marital plans.

The only way to restore order to the cosmos? I have to get married and quick.

Anybody want to get married?

The only stipulation is that we have to get hitched BEFORE April 3rd of this year.

If there are no takers, and I don't get married first, don't come bellyaching to me if the universe blinks out of existence as a result.
-

posted by Pete 12:52 AM
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