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Thursday, May 29, 2003
While I usually don't review individual movies here, this one isn't so much a movie as it is a Cultural Event. Besides, if you're a blogger, writing about "Matrix Reloaded" is more or less Required By Law, so...


I went. I saw "The Matrix: Reloaded".

It was a real head scratcher.

Here are some random thoughts...

1. Neo fights an ever-multiplying number of Agent Smiths. When there are, like, hundreds of them and it looks like Neo just might get his ass kicked, he flies away.

Why didn't he just do that in the first place, instead of trying to fight them for like ten minutes?

2. What's the deal with the Albino Twins? It's as if, during script writing, somebody said, "We need a villain that can out-Smith Smith." Then somebody added, "What about TWO villains? And what if we made them twins?" To which, in a stroke of genius, it was said, "I know! We'll make them Albino twins!"

Hey, don't get me wrong: Much like female nudity, I'm all for badass Albinos... if it furthers the plot.

Maybe it was just a way to balance out the larger number of black characters in the sequel. Or maybe it was a way to piss of a segment of the audience that usually doesn't get a chance to be pissed off: the "pigment challenged."

I really don't know.

3. Where the hell was 'Tank'? Instead of just dying, he pulled his bloodied self up in the first movie and saved the day. How was he rewarded? Morpheus fired his ass, evidently. Nice. (Oh wait... I guess it was actually the Wachowski brothers who had fired "Tank"... Never mind.)

As an aside, what the heck is the name of Morpheus' ship? I'm thinking it was called the "Huma-nah-huma-nah-wham-a-lama-ding-dong", but that can't be right, can it?

4. Why does anybody, besides Neo, even go into the Matrix anymore? I mean, they only manage to throw themselves off skyscrapers and get shot or else get blown up while riding on top of a semi, and then Neo has to fly in and pull their fat from the fire.

5. Why does Neo continue to take the advice of the Oracle? She talks in riddles and when he does what she says it leads to all kinds of trouble. Neo should tell that bitch to fuck off once and for all.

6. I was really impressed with the high-speed multiple car crash sequences, until I realized they were mostly created with digital computer technology.

7. I was really impressed with Keanu Reeves' subtle acting and vast emotional range, until I realized it was mostly created with digital computer technology.

8. The first movie gave us slo-mo fight sequences. In the sequel, we get a slo-mo sexy grinding rave dance sequence. I can't wait to see this filter down into other movies over the next few years. The people jumping up during the dirty dancing was a nice touch. Robert Longo would be so proud.

9. The sequel got all philosophical on my ass. It's about CONTROL, stupid. Do we control the technology or does the technology control us? Blah blah blah. Ironic that a film making an anti-tech statement would, itself, not be possible without the cutting-edge computer technology available today. Self-referential philosophy. You gotta love it.

10. I've read that to get the "full effect" of 'The Matrix: Reloaded', one should buy the animation DVD and the interactive game. Yeah, that would complete the "full effect." The "full effect" on my wallet, that is. No thanks, because I'M still in control, stupid.

Don't get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie.

Hey, it killed over two hours. You can't ask much more than that when it comes to entertainment

posted by Pete 1:39 PM
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