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Tuesday, April 01, 2003
[ YOU DON'T LIKE DICK AS I LIKE DICK - ...A Letter ]

An email from a reader on April 1st's "Make Fun of the Cheneys Day"...

"Dear Pete,

I understand to protest their harassment of the White House parody site; April first is "Make Fun of the Cheneys Day".

Pain me as it might, I read the whitehouse.org site - or, as much as I could humanly stomach - just so's I'd know what the heck all the hullabaloo was about. Now I know and, let me tell you something, buster, I'm none too pleased! Did you know it contains what are probably doctored photos of the Honorable Second Lady Lynne Cheney? And a fictitious biographical statement?

Is this what passes for humor in this fine land today? What's wrong with the comedic styling of Mark Russell? Or living legend Buddy Hackett? Now those are comedians! Not the mean-spirited "white house dot org" people who, quite frankly, just aren't funny! Well, I sure wasn't laughing and, I'd imagine, nor are any Americans worth their salt.

So, this fellow named Neal Pollack (www.nealpollack.com) called for a day of fun making, did he? Who is this Neal Pollack anyway, you might ask? He fancies himself a writer but, mostly, he makes stuff up. Real writers don't have to make stuff up. That's why they are called writers! So, really, he's just another sniveling no-goodnik trying to make a name for himself on the back of one U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney.

Some people obviously spend way too much time thinking, instead of doing, for themselves.

Get off Dick, Neal! You dumb pollack.

Dick Cheney is a good man with a good heart.

Well, he's a good man at least. His heart? Not so good. But that's o.k., because the honorable President George W. Bush has enough heart for the both of them. He is, after all, a "compassionate conservative." I think his record so far speaks to that fact.

Dick Cheney has made sacrifices for his country. Did you know, when he was tapped for the Vice President position, he was registered as a voter in Texas? That effectively barred him from running for office, as the US constitution prevents president and vice president coming from the same state. But did Dick give up? Did he turn down a job he probably didn't even want? No, unlike some people mentioned in this letter previously, Dick didn't think about himself. He thought about his country! He knows the meaning of the word "sacrifice." So, he took a long and arduous trip to the backwoods of Wyoming to change his voter registration.

That took gumption, not to mention good ole-fashioned American Ingenuity. Traits to be admired, I might add.

A May 2, 2002 report from 'CorpWatch' stated: "Cheney made a fortune in the oil industry when he took over as chief executive of Halliburton, the world's largest oil services company in 1995. In 1998 he took home $4.4 million in salary and benefits and in 1999 he was paid $1.92 million, according to the company's own financial reports. In May 2000 he cashed in 100,000 Halliburton shares to net another $5.1 million and then sold the rest of his shares in August 2000 for $18.5 million, adding up to a total of almost $30 million in just two years, a fortune for a man with no previous experience in running a company, let alone an oil multinational."

It was written by a man - or woman - calling himself (or herself) "Pratap Chatterjee". Sounds Iraqi to me. Or maybe a person from India. Not that there's much difference. They all hate what America stands for, and they all hate Dick.

It's just another example of bashing the CEOs - both former and current - of Corporate America. These people with inferior bank accounts sure like to sling mud. All in yet another attempt to keep the rich white man down. History is filled with such attempts, but hear me and hear me well - We Shall Overcome!

Are we so morally bankrupt that we fault a man for making a buck? If not for that little "nest egg" how do you think Dick would be able to make ends meet now, what with the comparative pittance he's paid as Vice President? You should thank your lucky stars that Dick doesn't have to worry about money, so he can concentrate on the more important issues. Like blowing Iraq back to the Stone Age. And making more money - not just for himself, but also for all the god-fearing Americans he knows personally.

No, suppression of truth is a foolish game. And I think that's what is going on with these snotnosed punks, when it comes to Dick Cheney.

We are increasingly seen as a weak nation, populated by a generation of morally bankrupt materialistic consumers with no notion of the conditions of the world outside of the well-protected borders of these United States.

God is testing the hearts of men and women, to see if they will stand for those too weak to stand for themselves in another country, or cower behind a barrage of deceitful philosophy in the name of 'peace.' Or satire. (Romans 1:18-24 and 28-32.)

God has tested Dick Cheney's heart. Dick passed, on more than one occasion.

Can the goatee-wearing, earring dangling snotnosed punks like Pollack say the same? I think not. So if he, and those utterly gutless bozos at whitehouse.org, don't like Dick - then get the hell out! Go back to Iraq or wherever it is you came from!

The rest of us GOOD Americans will follow Dick, and his boss, in these trying times. We'll not question their decisions because, ultimately, we did elect them to do what's best for all of us. You. Me. The Iraqi people. Whichever. We should trust them because they know what they're doing. If they didn't, they wouldn't have gotten themselves elected, now would they?

To the Dick detractors, I say this: You better come to your goddamn senses and learn to fly right. Before it is too late. This is war time, friend, and you may find yourself on the wrong end of a Treason charge if you keep it up.

Some people just don't get it. Why?

I don't know... -- Jack"

posted by Pete 7:24 AM
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