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Sunday, April 27, 2003
True stories/commentary from "the boy who laughed wolf", via...

[ RANDOM BITS VI: SHORT & TASTY BITS ]

= Furniture Gone Wild! =

Last night, I spent part of the evening at a house party with a few of my "blog groupies." They more or less 'know' me from this web log, and I sure as heck don't know them all that well.

But, for some reason, I thought it was a good idea to go anyway.

"Networking," I told myself.

It always boils down to the networking. Or so I tell myself.

At the party, there was much dancing and carrying on. Also, the young people like to drink. Boy, do they! Mostly, I watched.

I like to watch.

As the night wore on, and the party began to resemble an out-of-control train careening off the track, I think - at some point - a lampshade was involved.

After years of drudgery shading the light, the lampshade really wanted to cut loose.

It soon found itself up on the table, resting on some poor drunk's head, kicking up its heels and acting the fool.

Boy, did that lampshade get wasted last night!

So, too, did some of the other furniture. The table and chairs were falling all over each other. The refrigerator evidently had a little too much too, and ended up spewing its contents all over the kitchen floor.

This morning, the lampshade was back in its rightful place. Even if it sat upon the light bulb a bit crookedly.

"Oh, man," it said, "whatever you do, don't turn on that light. I am SO hung over right now."
-

= Symptoms Of? =

Lately, I've had this hacking cough that just won't quit.

While smoking yet another cigarette this morning, I contemplated the situation.

I was hoping against hope that I had come down with that SARS (sudden acute respiratory syndrome) that's so popular these days, but soon realized I didn't exhibit any of the other flu-like symptoms. Not even a fever.

Just coughing and other related respiratory problems.

Damn.

You think it might be the smoking?
-

= Don't Blog Me, Dude! =

The other night, a friend started a conversation with something I'm hearing more and more of these days:

"I've got something to tell you, but you can't put this on your web log..."

I replied, "I don't put everything on my 'blog', but I guess what I do post I'm pretty honest about."

"Maybe some of it is too revealing," I added.

"You're just starting to realize that now?" he answered.

D'oh!

On a related note, I find another strange blog-related thing happening.

It used to be I'd tell my friends funny true stories. But now, if they read this blog, I barely get started when somebody will say, "Hey, I already read that one online!"

I'm quickly running out of stories to tell.

Or maybe I just need to make more low-tech friends.

Take your pick.
-

= Smoke-easy =

This week, the city of Chandler joined Tempe in banning smoking in public places, including restaurants.

Unlike Tempe (not to mention "smoke free" Mesa and Gilbert, AZ), the Chandler ban doesn't include bars.

Maybe the liquor trade has more pull in Chandler, hence the bar exemption. Or maybe the city council there just isn't stupid.

In any case, there's now a growing movement for a statewide smoking ban in Arizona.

Thus, it would join U.S. states on both coasts that've already enacted such measures.

So, I ask... How long will it be then before so-called "smoke-easies" light up for business? They'll be like the "speakeasies" that cropped up in the 1930s during Prohibition.

Secret basement rooms under existing businesses - I think one located under a propane distributor's building would be good, nobody would ever think to look there - where smokers can puff away in the relative safety and anonymity of the blue haze.

Mark my words, people, mark my words! Smoke-easies. It'll happen, sooner rather than later.
-

= Final Thoughts =

I'm keeping this edition of "Random Bits" short, out of respect for my "attention challenged" readers.

It seems some people have difficulty reading text online if it's, say, more than twenty words long. While I couldn't pare it down to that, I've tried to keep it brief.

I came upon this realization after one reader told me she had difficulty reading the 'post-modern bible' column on her computer screen.

So, she printed it out and, as she then said, "Oh, hell! It was eight pages long! W.T.F.?"

Evidently, it left her shaking her head. So, now I'm doing my part to help such readers.

Always give 'em what they want, I say.

At least that's what I say today. By tomorrow, I'll have probably changed my mind.

I'll then post a *9* page column to explain why.

[]

posted by Pete 1:17 PM
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