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Sunday, January 26, 2003
More "breaking news"...

[ THE SECRET DIARY OF JAMES, BROTHER OF JESUS ]

In late October '02, a paleographer at the Sorbonne University in Paris discovered what was purportedly the burial box of James, who is referred to as the brother of Jesus in both the Bible and in contemporary historical accounts.

The news stunned both the religious and archaeological world.

From 'National Geographic':

"Researchers may have uncovered the first archaeological evidence that refers to Jesus as an actual person and identifies James, the first leader of the Christian church, as his brother.

The 2,000-year-old ossuary - a box that held bones- bears the inscription "James, son of Joseph, brother of Jesus." Until now, all references to the three men have been found only in manuscripts."

Earlier this week, an equally startling discovery was made, when researchers uncovered what may very well be the secret diary of James. Written on Jerusalem limestone tablets, it exposes the private lives of these historical religious figures.

Brief excerpts have been released thus far...

= The Secret Diary of James =

ENTRY 17: Boy, sometimes my brother thinks He is such hot shit; what with the healing of lepers, turning water into wine, walking on water, and all. Bought myself a copy of "1001 Magic Tricks Anybody Can Learn" at the corner tablet store today. I'll show Jesus!

ENTRY 60: Judas stopped by the house tonight. I've never trusted that guy. I swear, he'd sell out his own mother for thirty pieces of silver. But my brother says he's cool. I guess Jesus is a lot more forgiving than I am.

ENTRY 82: Jesus was on His "God Kick" again today. "God Loves You", "God is All-Knowing", blah blah blah. Man, I get it, o.k? You're the Son of God. Now, shut up, already.

ENTRY 103: Went with Jesus to the temple. We got into it with the money changers. Jesus started flipping over tables and drove them out of the temple. Boy, did we piss them off. Ha ha. You know, sometimes, my brother can be pretty cool.

ENTRY 133: Got in a shouting match with Jesus today. He started giving me advice I didn't ask for, and I said, "Who died and made you God?" He just smiled. Damn him, anyway.

ENTRY 165: Went to a public rally. All the Apostles were there. Pontius Pilate was making a speech. Boy, what an ass he is.

ENTRY 236: Didn't do much today. Jesus and I stayed around the house, drank wine. Geez, did I get wasted.

ENTRY 288: Earlier today, my brother asked me, "If a poor woman went into the temple and gave her last coin, then a wealthy man entered and donated a thousand coins, who would you say gave more?" I've been thinking about that question all day, but I think I figured it out. The wealthy man gave more, because a thousand is much more than one lousy coin. Any idiot knows that.

ENTRY 333 (final entry): Got in a big fight with mom. Lost my temper, called her a "slut". Jesus got pretty cross with me over that one. We argued. I shouted, "I wish you were dead!" I feel bad about it now. I should apologize because, if I don't and anything was to happen to my brother, I'd never forgive myself. Well, must be signing off. We have a big Supper to go to. It's been planned for weeks, and I know Jesus has really been looking forward to it. More later.

= end Secret Diary excerpts =


posted by Pete 10:50 AM
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